For some of us, the end of a calendar year can bring challenging feelings connected to the different cycles of life and how we feel connected to them and the people in our lives. Even so, it can offer a time of self-reflection because the winter months encourage a natural going-inward in response to nature’s changes, especially in northern climates that bring the cold and starkness of winter days.

While it is a popular time for looking forward to the coming year, pausing to reflect as a yearly ritual can support intentions for lasting changes we may want to make. This requires a sense that it is important to self-reflect in order to see the changes that have occurred over the last year and learn from what has taken place.

Some of my favorite year end rituals stem from the fact that my birthday is close to year’s end and I have always used it is a time to reflect on my life. In honoring others days of birth, I am often the one asking what reflections people have about their most recent year on earth. I also am fond of giving small gifts to the people in my life along with an expression of gratitude for how they make an impact on my life. I take a full day (which is usually my birthday) to reflect on the goals I set for myself over the course of the year and to what extent I met them or adapted them to reality. It isn’t a time for self-criticism, but authentic self-assessment about how things I may have thought were important were less so and vice versa, and learning from that. Sometimes I’ll draw or paint or engage in some other form of enjoyable creative activity as a means of going more deeply inward to see what other learnings I can find.

Whatever the form of self-reflecting ritual that is right for you, what is important is giving yourself permission to slow down and notice your life and what joys and challenges you have faced that have changed you in some way. Maybe you’ll light a candle and write yourself a note of loving kindness, maybe you’ll notice what others you are connected to have brought to your life and express gratitude to them in a letter or words, maybe you’ll take extra time to nurture the person you are becoming. Whatever the ritual, allow yourself full immersion in it and let your innate wisdom emerge so you can truly and deeply feel what you need to discover. Insight is waiting for you to slow down and let it be revealed.