Three years ago, when Vera Trainer was diagnosed with cancer, she did what many strong, capable people do first — she tried to handle it quietly.
“I really sort of had this thought that I would just do it alone, and I didn’t need to tell anybody.”
She kept moving forward. She was “kind of discreet” because she “didn’t want people to view me, like, differently.” Until one simple truth surfaced: “it wasn’t enough to just try to do it alone.”
That realization led her to her first cancer retreat.
What she found there surprised her. Community. Creativity. Space to breathe. “It was really a reawakening.” She found herself drawing flowers in the grove of trees, reconnecting with a part of herself she hadn’t touched in years — “a re-entrance into this other part of myself that maybe I’d forgotten about.”
But it wasn’t only beauty. It was belonging.
“There’s no judgment,” she says, remembering a group of scarred, bald, brave bodies jumping into cold water together at nearby Alderbrook Resort during a break. “There’s just joy in being alive another day.”
Vera returned again at a different season in her life — this time carrying grief. In that space, she found room for tears, reflection, and presence. “That… space… was really powerful.”
Today, she continues showing up in support groups and workshops, choosing community again and again. “It’s like a refresh.” It’s helped her become “less judgmental.” It’s helped her “just listen.” It’s helped her “take my life as it is right now in this moment.”
And now she’s ready to share.
“I think I’m ready to tell this story. Like, if it can help one person then that’s fine.”
Over the next month, you’ll get to know Vera more deeply through our Fundraising With Friends campaign — where she is inviting the people in her life to walk alongside her story and help ensure others don’t have to face cancer alone.
For now, she wants you to know this:
“You have cancer, it doesn’t mean… you’re this sickly person.”
“We can still live very amazing, full lives.”
Stay with us. There is more to her story — and more to what becomes possible when community shows up for one another.